I’d Rather Love the Real Lucy

 

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz, when they first became Lucy & Ricky Ricardo.

The bongo drums are beating hard for Being the Ricardos, but I will pass. Top talent is involved, but they’re a mismatch to the material. After suffering through Feud in 2017, B.S. that was ballyhooed to restore the reputations of dueling divas Davis and Crawford, I swore never again to celebrity bios. 

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz, with Vivian Vance & William Frawley, in "I Love Lucy."

The thought of Aaron Sorkin 'splainin' about the real Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, with his on the nose banter and op-ed speeches, makes me grimace like Lucy Ricardo. While I admire past performances by Nicole Kidman and Javier Bardem, they are 14 and 18 years older than Lucy and Desi when they became the Ricardos. And flashbacks? Shades of 70-ish Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce! I don't expect impersonations, but I expect an actor playing an icon like Joan, Liz, or Lucy to at least superficially resemble them, and not look embalmed. The film is getting the kind of reviews I thought: fans of Kidman and Sorkin are raving, and others are giving it mixed reviews for the reasons I gave.

What interests me far more are topics brought up in regard to Lucy and Desi's legacy. They were indeed a fascinating couple personally and a trailblazing one, professionally. Like Ava & Frank and Liz & Dick, Lucy & Desi couldn't live with each other, but also couldn't live without each other. Like those other fabled duos, Lucy and Desi stayed cordial, and it was generally understood by friends and family that they had a bond that divorce didn't break.

Famous "I Love Lucy" scene when Lucy tells Ricky she's pregnant. Lucy & Desi mixed their on/off-screen lives, but scenes like this showed their great love was real.

Lucy always gave Desi credit as the unsung hero of their success. Some have questioned this as patronizing on Ball's part, but all you have to do is watch an interview with Lucy to see that she meant every word. It reminds me much of how Cher, though often sharp-tongued about her famous ex-husband's ways, ALWAYS gave Sonny credit for their success, and that he was much more than the good-natured clown. This was also much the way Desi as Ricky was perceived. Lucy claimed to be the muse and at home, the Mom, with Desi as the big picture guy who took care of business. Also like Cher, Lucy was surprisingly serious off-camera. Their men were the big personalities who got stuff done. In different ways, both men lost sight of their original vision, and lost their superstar wives in the process. With Sonny, it was womanizing and controlling behavior; with Desi, it was drinking, gambling, and womanizing. Both women didn’t take it well.

Like Lucy and Desi, Sonny and Cher first were thrilled to be in a weekly show for CBS because it got them off the road. But working together and going home every night for both couples made their problems even more apparent. Ironically, both couples’ shows played off and romanticized their personal lives. When Cher went solo, she immediately called Lucy, as they were friendly. Here’s Lucy's response to Cher's fears: "Get out there and work your ass off!" 

I don't know about Cher's love life, but Lucy gave her some career advice.

The biggest difference between Lucy and Desi was her workaholic, perfectionist personality and his laissez-faire charm. To a certain extent, they rubbed off on each other for the better. But once I Love Lucy led to a Desilu empire, the pressure was enormous.

Keeping an eye on Desi Arnaz took its toll on Lucille Ball, and their marriage.

Why was Lucy so uptight, some fans have wondered, disappointed that she wasn't fun-loving Lucy Ricardo. Well, Lucy's rise to the top in showbiz was very slow, and filled with obstacles. At the beginning of her career, Lucy went to acting school in NYC. Ball struggled hard, but came back home, rejected and defeated. In Hollywood, one reason given that Lucy's contract was sold by RKO was that she was too old to become a movie star. Lucy was then 31, the same age as top RKO star Ginger Rogers. Though Lucy and Ginger both arrived in Hollywood about the same time, Rogers quickly ascended from Busby Berkeley musicals to starring with Fred Astaire, while Ball toiled away in mostly B movies. Even after personal raves for 1942’s The Big Street, with top critic James Agee praising Lucy, saying she was born for the parts that fellow star Ginger Rogers sweated over, no dice. At MGM, Lucy didn't fare much better, though Ball dyed her hair famously red. Nobody seemed to know what to do with this obviously talented lady.

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz at the beginning of their life together, beautiful & in love.
But it wasn't a rose garden, right from the start.

Some say that Lucy's beauty and comedy persona didn't mix for audiences. Yet, the '30s were the screwball comedy heyday as were romantic comedies of the war years, which made stars of Ginger, Kate Hepburn, Claudette Colbert, Barbara Stanwyck, and especially Carole Lombard, who befriended Ball.

I think decades of Ball trying to make it as an actress, to no great effect, made Lucy not just strong, but gradually bitter—and scared. Once she hit the jackpot with I Love Lucy, Ball was 40, when many of her contemporaries were fading. But once Lucy was finally at the top, I think she was scared of losing it all, and having a careless husband didn't help. And once she went solo in the '60s, with more hit variations of her “Lucy” character, Desi's warmth was much missed. Lucy's comedic energy later seemed more like frantic tension. 

Desi Arnaz & Lucille Ball near the end of their being the Ricardos... and married.

Desi gradually phased out of Desilu and Lucy took over. Though Lucy claimed she didn’t enjoy being a boss, Ball sure loved bossing people around. Even great stars were run roughshod over. Richard Burton dished in his diaries about life with Lucy; Elizabeth Taylor, not one to tell tales out of school, when Rosie O' Donnell innocently asked if she had fun working with Lucy, ET looked at her in mock horror. Rosie pressed on and Taylor demonstrated, as if grabbing someone by the shoulders, barking, "You! Over here!" 

I think what everyone close to Lucy understood and this was expressed in the great TV documentary, Lucy and Desi: A Home Movie, was that Lucy operated on tension, and everyone wished she could have just relaxed. 

Aside from their love, Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz stayed close because they both
adored their two children, who came in the last half of their 20 year marriage.

But Lucy pressed on, going from Here's Lucy to the ill-advised Mame, dated TV dramatic appearances, and one last attempt at being “Lucy” in the '80s. Lucy revealed herself on latter day talk show appearances to be a rather tough cookie. Daughter Lucie told Joan Rivers that Ball was a control freak. Despite all this, Lucy's decades of good will with the public overrode all of this. The TV talk show appearances indeed revealed that Lucy wasn't a picnic. But Ball wasn't a phony either, and never hid behind a fake persona. What you saw was what you got.

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz, with children Desi Jr. & Lucie.

Some were shocked when Lucy referred to Desi as a loser to Barbara Walters in a 1977 interview. It wasn't said as an insult. Lucy lauded Desi as a talent who made their success possible and put up with a lot of crap regarding his race and role in their careers. By loser, Lucy said Desi couldn't control the urge to throw away all his success with drinking, gambling, and other women. And despite nearly two decades, a devoted second husband at her side, it was painfully obvious that Lucy was still very hurt by the memories.

Desi seemed to drift in retirement, but like Lucy, he had a great second great spouse, who even met with exacting Lucy’s approval. Arnaz occasionally surprised everybody, as with his excellent memoirs and a memorable appearance on SNL.

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz at a family affair.

As Lucy and Desi appeared together at milestones in their adult children's lives, it was obvious that there was still great affection between them. If you get a chance to see Lucy and Desi: A Home Movie, the final scene with them in the pool with their baby grandson is a tearjerker. You can watch this 1993 TV doc on Amazon Prime or IMDB TV here:

https://www.amazon.com/Lucy-Desi-Movie-Lucille-Ball/dp/B07QDPP86F

And for an excellent account of their lives and career, read Desilu: The Story of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, by Coyne S. Sanders and Tom Gilbert. Go here:

https://www.amazon.com/Desilu-Story-Lucille-Ball-Arnaz/dp/0062020013

There are many great interviews with Lucy and Desi, and also their family and friends, on YouTube. I would much rather see the real Lucy and Desi, than an imitation of their life together.

FYI: I put all the movie overflow on my public FB  movie page. 

Check it out & join!  https://www.facebook.com/groups/178488909366865/

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz, in happier times.