Wednesday, December 8, 2021

I’d Rather Love the Real Lucy

 

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz, when they first became Lucy & Ricky Ricardo.


The bongo drums are beating hard for Being the Ricardos, but I will pass. Top talent is involved, but they’re a mismatch to the material. After suffering through Feud in 2017, B.S. that was ballyhooed to restore the reputations of dueling divas Davis and Crawford, I swore never again to celebrity bios. 

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz, with Vivian Vance & William Frawley, in "I Love Lucy."

The thought of Aaron Sorkin 'splainin' about the real Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, with his on the nose banter and op-ed speeches, makes me grimace like Lucy Ricardo. While I admire past performances by Nicole Kidman and Javier Bardem, they are 14 and 18 years older than Lucy and Desi when they became the Ricardos. And flashbacks? Shades of 70-ish Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce! I don't expect impersonations, but I expect an actor playing an icon like Joan, Liz, or Lucy to at least superficially resemble them, and not look embalmed. The film is getting the kind of reviews I thought: fans of Kidman and Sorkin are raving, and others are giving it mixed reviews for the reasons I gave.

What interests me far more are topics brought up in regard to Lucy and Desi's legacy. They were indeed a fascinating couple personally and a trailblazing one, professionally. Like Ava & Frank and Liz & Dick, Lucy & Desi couldn't live with each other, but also couldn't live without each other. Like those other fabled duos, Lucy and Desi stayed cordial, and it was generally understood by friends and family that they had a bond that divorce didn't break.

Famous "I Love Lucy" scene when Lucy tells Ricky she's pregnant. Lucy & Desi mixed their on/off-screen lives, but scenes like this showed their great love was real.

Lucy always gave Desi credit as the unsung hero of their success. Some have questioned this as patronizing on Ball's part, but all you have to do is watch an interview with Lucy to see that she meant every word. It reminds me much of how Cher, though often sharp-tongued about her famous ex-husband's ways, ALWAYS gave Sonny credit for their success, and that he was much more than the good-natured clown. This was also much the way Desi as Ricky was perceived. Lucy claimed to be the muse and at home, the Mom, with Desi as the big picture guy who took care of business. Also like Cher, Lucy was surprisingly serious off-camera. Their men were the big personalities who got stuff done. In different ways, both men lost sight of their original vision, and lost their superstar wives in the process. With Sonny, it was womanizing and controlling behavior; with Desi, it was drinking, gambling, and womanizing. Both women didn’t take it well.

Like Lucy and Desi, Sonny and Cher first were thrilled to be in a weekly show for CBS because it got them off the road. But working together and going home every night for both couples made their problems even more apparent. Ironically, both couples’ shows played off and romanticized their personal lives. When Cher went solo, she immediately called Lucy, as they were friendly. Here’s Lucy's response to Cher's fears: "Get out there and work your ass off!" 

I don't know about Cher's love life, but Lucy gave her some career advice.

The biggest difference between Lucy and Desi was her workaholic, perfectionist personality and his laissez-faire charm. To a certain extent, they rubbed off on each other for the better. But once I Love Lucy led to a Desilu empire, the pressure was enormous.

Keeping an eye on Desi Arnaz took its toll on Lucille Ball, and their marriage.

Why was Lucy so uptight, some fans have wondered, disappointed that she wasn't fun-loving Lucy Ricardo. Well, Lucy's rise to the top in showbiz was very slow, and filled with obstacles. At the beginning of her career, Lucy went to acting school in NYC. Ball struggled hard, but came back home, rejected and defeated. In Hollywood, one reason given that Lucy's contract was sold by RKO was that she was too old to become a movie star. Lucy was then 31, the same age as top RKO star Ginger Rogers. Though Lucy and Ginger both arrived in Hollywood about the same time, Rogers quickly ascended from Busby Berkeley musicals to starring with Fred Astaire, while Ball toiled away in mostly B movies. Even after personal raves for 1942’s The Big Street, with top critic James Agee praising Lucy, saying she was born for the parts that fellow star Ginger Rogers sweated over, no dice. At MGM, Lucy didn't fare much better, though Ball dyed her hair famously red. Nobody seemed to know what to do with this obviously talented lady.

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz at the beginning of their life together, beautiful & in love.
But it wasn't a rose garden, right from the start.

Some say that Lucy's beauty and comedy persona didn't mix for audiences. Yet, the '30s were the screwball comedy heyday as were romantic comedies of the war years, which made stars of Ginger, Kate Hepburn, Claudette Colbert, Barbara Stanwyck, and especially Carole Lombard, who befriended Ball.

I think decades of Ball trying to make it as an actress, to no great effect, made Lucy not just strong, but gradually bitter—and scared. Once she hit the jackpot with I Love Lucy, Ball was 40, when many of her contemporaries were fading. But once Lucy was finally at the top, I think she was scared of losing it all, and having a careless husband didn't help. And once she went solo in the '60s, with more hit variations of her “Lucy” character, Desi's warmth was much missed. Lucy's comedic energy later seemed more like frantic tension. 

Desi Arnaz & Lucille Ball near the end of their being the Ricardos... and married.

Desi gradually phased out of Desilu and Lucy took over. Though Lucy claimed she didn’t enjoy being a boss, Ball sure loved bossing people around. Even great stars were run roughshod over. Richard Burton dished in his diaries about life with Lucy; Elizabeth Taylor, not one to tell tales out of school, when Rosie O' Donnell innocently asked if she had fun working with Lucy, ET looked at her in mock horror. Rosie pressed on and Taylor demonstrated, as if grabbing someone by the shoulders, barking, "You! Over here!" 

I think what everyone close to Lucy understood and this was expressed in the great TV documentary, Lucy and Desi: A Home Movie, was that Lucy operated on tension, and everyone wished she could have just relaxed. 

Aside from their love, Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz stayed close because they both
adored their two children, who came in the last half of their 20 year marriage.

But Lucy pressed on, going from Here's Lucy to the ill-advised Mame, dated TV dramatic appearances, and one last attempt at being “Lucy” in the '80s. Lucy revealed herself on latter day talk show appearances to be a rather tough cookie. Daughter Lucie told Joan Rivers that Ball was a control freak. Despite all this, Lucy's decades of good will with the public overrode all of this. The TV talk show appearances indeed revealed that Lucy wasn't a picnic. But Ball wasn't a phony either, and never hid behind a fake persona. What you saw was what you got.

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz, with children Desi Jr. & Lucie.

Some were shocked when Lucy referred to Desi as a loser to Barbara Walters in a 1977 interview. It wasn't said as an insult. Lucy lauded Desi as a talent who made their success possible and put up with a lot of crap regarding his race and role in their careers. By loser, Lucy said Desi couldn't control the urge to throw away all his success with drinking, gambling, and other women. And despite nearly two decades, a devoted second husband at her side, it was painfully obvious that Lucy was still very hurt by the memories.

Desi seemed to drift in retirement, but like Lucy, he had a great second great spouse, who even met with exacting Lucy’s approval. Arnaz occasionally surprised everybody, as with his excellent memoirs and a memorable appearance on SNL.

Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz at a family affair.

As Lucy and Desi appeared together at milestones in their adult children's lives, it was obvious that there was still great affection between them. If you get a chance to see Lucy and Desi: A Home Movie, the final scene with them in the pool with their baby grandson is a tearjerker. You can watch this 1993 TV doc on Amazon Prime or IMDB TV here:

https://www.amazon.com/Lucy-Desi-Movie-Lucille-Ball/dp/B07QDPP86F

And for an excellent account of their lives and career, read Desilu: The Story of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, by Coyne S. Sanders and Tom Gilbert. Go here:

https://www.amazon.com/Desilu-Story-Lucille-Ball-Arnaz/dp/0062020013

There are many great interviews with Lucy and Desi, and also their family and friends, on YouTube. I would much rather see the real Lucy and Desi, than an imitation of their life together.

FYI: I put all the movie overflow on my public FB  movie page. 

Check it out & join!  https://www.facebook.com/groups/178488909366865/


Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz, in happier times.


21 comments:

  1. I am curious enough about Lucy & Desi to watch "Being the Ricardos" assuming it's on a streaming service I subscribe to. And, I am a huge fan of Aaron Sorkin so I'll probably tune in. She may indeed have been a "tough cookie" but she sure was a smart one. I'm curious to learn more about the relationship she had with Vivian Vance & William Frawley. The movie seems to imply it wasn't a good one.

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    1. Hi, I hope that I admire Lucy tremendously comes through...
      I think while all four stars were doing the show it could get fraught. Think how many more episodes they did back in the day. Plus all the promotion. And then when the marriage really went south, I'm sure everyone around them suffered a bit.
      That said, after the fact, Lucy and Viv seemed affectionate with each other in interviews. And I think Frawley made a cameo on The Lucy Show before he died. It's on YouTube. Lucy always appreciated talent, I think.
      Cheers, Rick

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  2. I often wince when watching any of these types of shows, but watch I must. I'm not a fan of Nicole, but she'll evoke Lucy (physically) as much as anyone else. Javier, who I adore, has an accent.
    That's how close he is to looking like Desi.
    What I like to think is that stuff like this makes younger generations aware. Nothing wrong with that.

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    1. Hi there, well there has been an enormous amount of interest in this film, and Desi and Lucy. They should have done this movie 15 years ago with Nicole, and perhaps pre-ravaged Johnny Depp as Desi. But yeah, after the gush-fest over "Feud," I hit a wall with celeb bios... won't be seeing pint size Kristen Stewart as Lady Di, either...
      Cheers, Rick

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    2. As an enormous fan of Crawford & Davis I was ready to plotz over Feud. Can we ever get Faye out of our heads? Did I think Jessica could do that? No, but I appreciated her effort. As for Sarandon, I'd said 40 years ago that she was born to do Bette and I was astounded at how shitty a job she did.

      Heck, just watched Impeachment and devoured it. Does Beanie look like Monica? Was Sarah made to appear even half as physically ugly as Linda was? Did Edie make me forget she was Edie for a nanosecond? No to all those questions, but I still loved it. 😁

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    3. Seriously, good for you. I found odd that Jessica was acting heart out, despite the fact she never made me think of Joan. And yes, then there was Susan who was born to play Bette, as you say, and yet seemed so half-hearted. I just couldn't handle all the fan fiction stuff, and now everyone takes it as gospel. I am fascinated by Lucy interviews, so at odds with her persona. Check out the interview on the Kup show with a panel including Elizabeth Ashley and Otto Preminger, who at one point asks Lucy why she's so bitter! And no, Lucy didn't throw her drink at him! Cheers, Rick

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    4. This quartet is kind of amazing. Such a disparate foursome.
      Poor Lucy, she was old and very old-fashioned.

      One more thing- You've surely seen the episodes when Lucy was Mystery Guest on What's My Line. I just loved how she responded to the applause when she came out, how she truly looked at the audience, the balcony as well as the orchestra. Most celebs didn't do that; pause to communicate with their fans.

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    5. Hi, I have noticed that on a number of shows, where she takes time to acknowledge the fans, and always seems genuinely pleased. Rick

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  3. That SNL appearance was awesome, with both Desis Beating the hell out of those conga drums!

    I remember an interview with Desi that ran in PARADE magazine, that used to come inside the Sunday newspaper. This was long after their divorce, and Desi was pretty much out of the public eye. At the end, he was asked, "What would you do if you saw Lucy today?" And he gave a one word answer: "Propose." I have never forgotten that - it struck me as so sad that they couldn't make the marriage work, because I think they truly were a love match.

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    1. Hi Kristy, I wonder if that Parade mag interview was after his 2nd wife Edith had died. She was good to him and understood about Lucy. The big problem was Desi's drinking.
      That comment reminds me of just before Richard Burton died, he was making 1984 with John Hurt. Sitting on the set one day, he leans over and said to John, "She still fascinates, you know." Don't think I have to tell you who SHE was!
      Cheers, Rick

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  4. I have no interest in seeing the recent film. I don't think it was made with this fan in mind. I have read Desi's book and Lucy's. Surely their reality is as valid as anyone elses's.

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    1. There's been plenty of books and interviews with the real people. But if you haven't, the two links to the Desilu book and the Arnaz TV doc (Lucy and Desi: A Home Movie) are wonderful, but honest.
      Cheers, Rick

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  5. Enjoyed your article. I did not know that my Mame was ill-advised for Lucy, but looking back, it was altogether unnecessary. I saw it in the theater as a kid and loved it because I loved everything Lucy!

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    1. I remember when "Mame" came out, I was so excited to see it, thinking it would be huge. Well, it never came to my small town after it bombed. But I've seen it several times over the years. And while Lucy should have learned her lesson after "Wildcat" about doing musicals, Lucille Ball is always watchable! Cheers, Rick

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  6. I don't know, I'm not the biggest Lucy fan in the world and am not offended by Nicole and Javier, aside from having Nicole fatigue. When does she have time for her family? I've read some of the articles about Luci and her "approval" and like her Instagram but Desi Jr. seems to have fallen off the face of the earth.

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    1. Hey, I grew up loving Lucy, though our family was very aware that '70s Lucy wasn't that funny anymore.
      But I feel like social media tries to decide in advance what everyone should like. They did this with "Feud," too, as if it were the last word on Bette and Joan, and that Jessica was "channeling" Joan. So the whole Nicole IS Lucille Ball drum beat had a familiar ring. And though it's getting some raves, not everyone's buying it...
      The recent "Diana" and "Jackie" movies held no interest, either...
      Rick

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    2. First Jessica, then Kristen, then Gaga. Now Nicole is going to win the Oscar!

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  7. Hi Rick,
    Love your blog, and agree with your opinions. They sure don't make 'em like they used to, and Lucille Ball was utterly unique. I have been a big fan all my long life and have some reservations about seeing "Being The Ricardos." When I read that Aaron Sorkin was attached to this project I knew exactly what he was going to write about, which is covered extensively in many of the books about Lucy, Desi and Desilu Studios. What always interested me the most about Lucy, especially after seeing her live in person at The Museum of Broadcasting in NYC in the early 1980s, was why was she unhappy? Everybody has their ups and downs in life but for someone who made everyone laugh, and became an international superstar, one of the most famous and beloved people on the planet, she seemed gruff, bossy and a bit bitter to me, while looking elegant and chain smoking like a chimney. Was it nerves? Insecurity? Who knows, but I still love Lucy, and Desi too, and have a tribute wall in my home filled with her dolls, movies, tv shows, books, and a couple of beautifully autographed photos. Your recommendations are spot on for anyone interested in Lucy and Desi. Cheers to you, Rick!

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    1. Thanks, Victor! I was afraid that people have O.D.'d on the blitz of publicity about the Lucy and Desi movie. But it had my brain spinning non-stop about the real Lucy and Desi. So, I just poured it all out in one morning! And like you, having grown up with Lucy, and watching my own generation's beloved TV couple, Sonny and Cher, break up. Plus, the latter day Lucy on talk shows, etc. I tried to give my take on why Lucy seemed bitter. Her kids have touched on it in passing, but I'd love to hear more from the family. But the book and the TV doc go a long way in explaining: Lucy and Desi never got over each other, and Lucy hated to fail. And she used it like a whip on herself, and sometimes those around her.
      That said, I adore Lucy, faults and all. I think underneath that gruff exterior, she was still a good person.
      And thanks for your kind comments, I get beat up sometimes by readers who don't agree with me!
      Cheers, Rick

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  8. Hi Rick - I feel the same way you do about the new movie, but curiosity will doubtless get the better of me and I will end up seeing it.

    Wonderful article on one of our most beloved (and yes, complicated) stars. I particularly loved the analogy you draw with Lucy/Desi and Sonny/Cher. These talented ladies would not be where they are were it not for their brilliant, savvy, managerially-skilled and passionately loving spouses who believed in them and built venues that would showcase those talents. (And both Cher and Lucy always acknowledged that.)
    -Chris

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