Cher’s Memoir Brings Back Memories for This Life-Long Fan

Cher has been a star for 60 of her 79 years. The living legend's memoirs covers
her life from 1946-1980. Photo by Richard Avedon, from their first collaboration.

 

Virtually all public figures with a tale to tell, a scandal to sell, have all written a book or been the subject of a documentary or podcast. Cher, with more stories than Scheherazade, finally wrote part one of her memoirs at nearly 80 years old. Cher: The Memoir begins with her family's poverty-stricken and dysfunctional history, taking the singer/actress through 1982, when Cher decided to fulfill her dream to act. 

Cherilyn Sarkisian, future glamour icon!

As a life-long Cher fan, I have read everything about the icon's life and career: the good, the bad, and the absurd. While some stories that Cher recounts have been told since the beginning of Sonny and Cher’s stardom, there’s much that I didn’t know. I was relieved that Cher's memoir wasn’t a gloss job. Stars can become protective of their legacy as they grow older. Cher freely admitted this was not a tell-all, but she tells a lot, and what she writes is candid without being unkind.

One of Cher's famous quotes was that her mother Georgia Holt
was married multiple times, but hardly remembers a man in the house.
Team Georgia, Cher, & Georganne! And later inspired her to make 1990's "Mermaids."  

What really struck me was how Cher singles out the people in her life that were important to her, whether they were famous or not. And unlike some stars, Cher has maintained long-time friendships and collaborations. I think that Cher, who grew up poor and with no obvious attributes for stardom, gave her a perspective that she didn't lose along the way, unlike some public figures.

I wish I had kept all these magazines to resell for my retirement fund! One of Cher's
 many charms is that she's always been a funny and candid interview subject.

Cher's stardom is a case of the God giving with one hand, and taking with the other, to use one of her pet expressions. Cher's fame came to her swiftly (a back-up singer at 17, her first # 1 record at 19) and Sonny as a protector helped her avoid the obvious pitfalls of stardom. On that other hand, Cher has been met with incredible resistance in the show biz world. While Sonny and Cher had incredible stardom, they were first regarded as a novelty. Their comeback as TV stars was hard-won, after honing their act on the road. After Cher was done on TV, many predicted her Las Vegas act would be her final resting place. While she had a hit disco album, what Cher really wanted was to be taken seriously as an actress. The story of Cher seeing the trailer for Silkwood with an audience, hearing applause for Meryl Streep and Kurt Russell's names, and then laughter at hers, is legendary. Or when Cher revived her music in the late '80s, with Aerosmith’s producer John Kalodner later saying he had never faced such resistance to getting an artist's music played by radio stations. The song? I Found Someone. She ran into the same thing a dozen years later with Believe. It wasn't played on US radio until it went #1 around the world.

Cher's mother Georgia Holt was a struggling starlet during the '50s. Here she is with
 Lucille Ball in a famous "I Love Lucy" episode about fashion!

Lucille Ball later had no-nonsense advice for Cher, about leaving
a husband/wife act in exchange for a divorce and solo career!

Cher’s mother was Georgia Holt, who worked in 1950’s show business, but never made much headway, despite her beauty, charisma, and a pleasant singing voice. A single starlet with kids was not the norm in the 1950s, either. Georgia’s other career was finding Mr. Right. It’s still a family argument about exactly how many times Georgia married! When Cher met Sonny, he had already struggled, looking for success as a singer/songwriter. By 1963, Sonny was nearly 30, divorced, with kids. In the middle of her mother and Sonny’s thwarted show biz dreams was teen-aged Cher.

Sonny wrote the songs & guided their career; Cher was the singer & made
their famous fashion choices. All of which created a craze in the mid-60s.

Cher was already taking acting lessons with famed Jeff Corey, but Sonny thought she’d make a good singer. So, a serious acting career for Cher was delayed for two decades. Bono was the first of several strong men that Cher had an ambivalent attitude about regarding her life and career.

Within two years, Cher went from singing backup for Phil Spector on classics like Be My Baby and You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling to singing hits written mostly by Sonny. Originally, Cher was supposed to be a solo act, with Sonny as her producer/manager, ala Ronnie and Phil Spector. This may be hard to believe for younger fans, but badass Cher was so shy that she was afraid to sing alone, even in the studio recording booth! So the lights were dimmed, then Sonny joined her to sing harmony, and the song was Baby, Don’t Go—one of my favorite Sonny and Cher songs. At one point, they had five songs in the Top 20 pop charts. But by the late ‘60s, the Bonos seemed square as pop and rock went psychedelic.

A classic Sonny & Cher moment, proof that they had arrived, singing
"I Got You Babe" on "The Ed Sullivan Show" in September, 1965,

During their down time, Sonny and Cher became seasoned performers and personalities with night club gigs and variety and talk show appearances, and developed their personas. Fred Silverman of CBS caught the duo on The Merv Griffin Show, gave them a summer TV series in 1971, which was a hit with audiences, including 12 year old me! Whether together, divorced, or reunited, Cher was a fixture on television through the ‘70s.

"The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour" was one of the last hit weekly variety shows.
Their show was in the Top Ten when CBS cancelled, because like Lucy & Desi Arnaz'
last series, they were getting divorced!

 Bob Mackie first designed for Cher on a 1967 "Carol Burnett Show" episode. Once  Sonny & Cher's summer series became a hit, Bob made Cher into a '70s glamour girl!

One of the most fun segments of Sonny & Cher's show was the V-A-M-P skits!

The stories of family and friends, with personal pictures, give Cher’s memoir resonance. Cher is very even-handed in recounting her marriages to Sonny Bono and Gregg Allman, considering that she got the short end of the stick in both cases, in my opinion. Sonny had great belief in Sonny and Cher and he did most of the heavy lifting behind the scenes. Cher has always given him credit for this, no matter how pissed she was at him personally. After their divorce, Sonny gradually became very dismissive of Cher's contributions to Sonny and Cher, which in turn, antagonized Cher toward him. How sad that it was Sonny's sudden death in 1998 that provided closure for Cher.

Cher's Time magazine cover coincided with her solo TV series.
The infamous dress, designed by Bob Mackie & worn by Cher
at the 1974 Met Gala. Photo by Richard Avedon.

A highlight of Cher's solo series was the big costume reveal of her opening numbers.  Bob Mackie commented that Cher wore her gorgeous gowns like they were jeans.
In other words, Cher wore the gowns, they didn't wear her!

Sonny's memoir And the Beat Goes On was published in 1991. While Sonny was certainly entitled to tell his side of the Sonny and Cher saga, but his need to always be seen as the nice guy skewed the book's credibility. Cher has admitted that she's not always been a ray of sunshine, but the near-total focus of Bono’s book was how no matter what he did for Cher, she was rarely grateful. Some of the reasons why came out at the time of their divorce. In her book, Cher cites Sonny's charm as to why it was hard to stay mad at him, but Bono wasn't as lovable off-camera. Sonny's stint as Phil Spector's gofer seemed to inspire his style as a star maker. Also, the fact that Sonny's stardom, followed by a hard-won comeback, seemed to make him a control freak. Terri Garr recalled Bono referring to Sonny and Cher show regulars as "atmosphere" and assigning favored cast and crew jackets, with his emblazoned with "El Primo." Cher never wore her jacket! 

Basically, Sonny treated Cher in a more humane version of how Phil Spector imprisoned his muse and wife, Ronnie. Sonny the warden had many rules. Cher was not allowed to play music or wear perfume inside the house. Sonny had the final say where Cher could go, and never alone. He opposed Cher taking tennis lessons and burned her tennis clothes when he found out there were men at there. She was not allowed to hang out with their tour band. When Cher went to a therapist of Sonny's suggestion, he got transcripts from the doc of their sessions! Of course, none of this is mentioned in Son's book. Sonny admits to being unfaithful to Cher once. Well, that's the first time he got caught. When Cher was no longer sleeping with Sonny, she expressed romantic interest in a band member. Sonny’s response was to sleep with the guy’s girlfriend first, as revenge. There’s a way to woo your estranged wife back! What Sonny and Cher's relationship had come down to was work, with Cher having no say about anything. 

Sonny & Cher AFTER their divorce, making up some gigs committed to before
 breaking up. What amazed me was that they were separated, while living in a house divided, & performing on "The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour" for the last two seasons! And Sonny still tried to control Cher--which wasn't working anymore!

When Cher officially wanted out, after living War of the Roses-style in their mansion, Sonny pulls all the classic bully husband lines: Everyone will hate you. You can't make it without me, etc. Here's the real clincher: Cher finds out that “Cher Enterprises” is comprised of Sonny Bono as president, his lawyer as vice-president, and Cher as… a salaried employee! When Cher confronted Sonny as to why he would do this, this was his revealing response: "Because I always knew that you would leave me."

It amazes me that Cher ever wanted to speak to Sonny again. Ultimately, Sonny and Cher had a bond that endured beyond all the bad stuff. They later reunited professionally on occasion and Cher always gave him credit as a good father and cited him as great fun to work with. Also, Sonny’s death seemed to surprise Cher as to the depth of her feelings for him that she still had.

When Sonny & Cher appeared on David Letterman's show in '87, Cher was clearly not pleased at Dave egging them on to sing "I Got You Babe." They did do
their classic duet and the emotional moment was a bit of show biz history.

As for Gregg Allman, Cher has often said he was the sweetest man in the world when sober and a complete mess when on drugs and alcohol. Gregg’s addictions were common knowledge, but Cher took most of the flack when their marriage failed, due to her notorious Hollywood image. Despite the reality that Gregg married six times, had children all over the place, made 11 trips to rehab, and didn’t sober up until 1996. Allman later wrote his self-rationalizing memoir, aptly titled My Cross to Bear. Cher and Gregg mended their fences; ultimately, Cher and their son Elijah Blue travelled to Georgia for Allman’s funeral in 2017.

Gregg Allman & Cher on their Las Vegas wedding day. Flanked by her sis Georgeanne & Cher's BFF of over 50 years, Paulette. The only gap in their friendship was when Paulette married Dickey Betts after The Allman Brothers broke up. When the women's marriages to the guys broke up, they resumed their friendship.
Fun fact: a bellhop named Tom Hanks carried the Allmans' luggage up to their room!

Luck has played a great role in Cher’s career. Cher got to fill in as a back-up singer because Darlene Love had car trouble one day, which opened Phil Spector's eyes to Cher. Or when Sonny and Cher's straight arrow costumes didn’t arrive for a gig and forced them to go out in their funky clothes, which caused a stir with audiences. Or Cher's mom Georgia, as pals with Robert Altman's wife, and mistakenly calling Bob instead of Cher, who was in New York studying acting. This led an intrigued Bob to eventually cast Cher in Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean on Broadway. Luck, along with hard work and persistence, have been Cher's life-long calling cards.

"Cher: The Memoir" ends when Cher is about to go to New York City to
study acting and find work. This was the result and led to Cher's film career.

It's interesting watching Cher today on her various 70’s TV shows when all this chaos was going on in the background. What a trouper Cher was to carry on. As Cher has commented, what other TV star has hosted a show with an ex-husband, while carrying the baby of her current husband? (And while hashing out divorce details with the former, and financially supporting the current spouse, after Allman's band split over a FBI drug sting!) Thankfully, there wasn't TMZ then! 

It's extremely ironic that Cher, who has long had a notorious reputation, was not into drugs or alcohol, and was not a swinger as the tabloids suggested, but a serial monogamist. Cher stayed better friends with exes like David Geffen, Gene Simmons, Val Kilmer, and Rob Camilletti, than the mercurial connections with ex-husbands Sonny and Gregg.

Cher fans will love her take on behind the scenes in her music career and TV shows. Cher has a memory like her beloved elephants and offers typically succinct impressions. Another fun thing about Cher is she enjoys being a star but also is a fan of other stars. Cher has mostly great memories of everyone from Bob Dylan, Phil Spector, The Rolling Stones, Joni Mitchell to Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Elton John, Tina Turner, The Jackson 5, Ronald Reagan, Kate Smith, etc. etc. etc. Cher has worked with practically everybody in her music, TV, and movie career.

Dolly Parton appeared with Cher on one of the latter's TV specials.
Two classic baby boomers and showbiz survivors, who did it their own way. 

As of this writing, Cher has been a star for 60 years, despite every decade bringing new naysayers predicting her diva demise. As Cher recently said, "I've seen them come, and I've seen them go..."  To paraphrase Sondheim, “And Cher, my dears, is still here!”

Here’s my take on Cher, in her Oscar-winning Moonstruck: https://ricksrealreel.blogspot.com/2021/05/cher-shines-in-modern-classic.html

Here’s an on-screen and off-screen look at Lucille Ball’s TV stardom, with a comparison to Cher’s similar challenges as part of a beloved husband and wife act that’s come to an end: https://ricksrealreel.blogspot.com/2021/12/id-rather-love-real-lucy.html 

When it was suggested that Cher be a "What Becomes a Legend Most?"
model in the '70s, Blackglama boss Peter Rogers dismissed her as a flash in the pan.
 So, when he approached her as actress Cher in the '80s, she agreed.
And wore her Oscars headdress with the fur, worn upside down!